In Print: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B002N60GRQ
NSFA (Not safe For Anyone)
“Rock n’ Roll! The kids will love it!
It’s the perfect music for busting sh*t up.”
On March 18, 1955, Terpsichore, an ancient muse, opened a bar in LA called The Duck n’ Fishes. On that day, she updated her name to Cheri and began to create much of the great music that we enjoy today.
The ‘D n’ F’ bar was also a place where the exhibitionist goddess could dance ‘au naturale.’ (“Her loose overalls were flashing sides of everything except bacon.”)
Everything was good, until…
… the late 70’s ( ‘The Dark Age of Music.’ ) when evil forces lead by The God of Sleaze, Anthony Rubio, began to replace real musical talent with pony-tailed middle-aged lawyers. To save music, Cheri had to gather her collection of unearthly friends to fight Rubio’s ponytailed army of cocaine snorting Hollywood sh*theels.
Johnny Passion was her chief weapon. The washed-up leader of the 60’s rock band, The Love Muscle, was Cheri’s faithful friend. She always protected Johnny and believed that his voice would lead music’s new renaissance.
But despite the goddess’ blessing, Johnny felt that his life was going nowhere, and one day jumped into his Mustang and drove deep into Nevada — to ‘find himself.’
Instead, Johnny found Sheena and the Queens of the Jungle, a statuesque, all hungry, female Las Vegas music revue — neighbors of billionaire Howard Hughes. Johnny somehow managed to become their slave …. their ‘house boy.’
The Amazonian ladies loved their Johnny (every day — and twice on Sundays). After twenty years the aging cougars decided to cut him loose, at midnight, in the middle of the desert.
Back home, Cheri patiently waited.
In August of 1992, Johnny limped back into to LA begging Cheri’s forgiveness.
To accomplish a big Las Vegas comeback for Johnny, Cheri needed to make sure that Johnny had the best coaches, the best songs and, most importantly, a reason to sing.
Cheri also had to find the only cure for Johnny’s broken heart. She needed to find the girl named Rebel, Johnny’s first, lost and last true love.
With the help of ghosts and two aliens,
Cheri would put Johnny and Rebel together again.
The Man From Nantucket
Adapted from The Timeless Children’s Classic
‘The Bountiful Mutiny’
With naughty nautical limericks
The Bountiful Mutiny (unabridged)
“Tales of Salty Sea Men and Soaked Sirens”
(Tragic Lust #65)
Born on the Island of Nantucket, in 1906, Sam Swathorn was the only surviving grandson of the celebrated William “Barnacle” Balls (the sailor). In the early 20th century kids matured early and that is when young Sam sprung forth, like a boner, to take his place in the world as The Man From Nantucket.