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Freddy Barnett's

And Then Things Got Weird….

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Science fiction

An excerpt from “Perdida — Island of Lost Things”

12243223_10153244997283873_627571000625904234_n(A Phone Message from the scientist Postel Amok to his Actress wife Margaret Amok  2/16/16 🙂

Le plume de mutant

“Hello, Margaret. This is Postel. I heard you were taking a break from the movies, and it just so happens that I’ll be gone from the middle of May through most of November.

You must come and see what I’ve done to our little island since you’ve been gone. Little Edison misses you and cannot wait to hear all about your movies. I’ve refurbished the pool area with a fully stocked bar, a waterfall and slide, and our satellite T.V. has every channel known to man and beast. You will see my new particle-accelerator that has been placed around the  pool area by the time you arrive. Don’t let Edison play with it. It can be potentially catastrophic in unexperienced hands. When I return, I’ll show you how to mix a Nutrino Smoothy — the most popular beverage in the 4th dimension. Ha! Life on the island should be quiet  while I’m gone. Doctor Vegzet from Switzerland may stop in to do a few quiet experiments, but that is all.

You won’t have to water the garden or clean the house as I have a new groundskeeper named Zubu who lives in the guest house and is capable of covering most of the chores. Don’t be afraid of Zubu though he seems to enjoy acting like, dressing like, and screeching like P.T. Barnum’s famous Wild Man of Borneo.—Woo Hooo Hooo Hooo!

You may run into a few of my new exotic pets outside, but Zubu can care those as well.

He’ll take care of the animals in our new fresh water lake, which your son, Edison has christened Lake Darwin.

You’re still the prettiest woman that ever lived.

Call me. O.K.? (pause). You got my number, Pumpkin.”

I Love you.

Maggie hated the way the big goofball called her Pumpkin, just to piss her off.

_________________

From the tiniest amoeba to the largest pre-historic sloth, the entire Isla de Mismo was inhabited by the one thing that the award winning scientist  loved the most, himself and his divine genetic history! He couldn’t wait to share the newest vision of his twisted world with his wife, Margaret, who’d just spent over a year filming make-believe stories in the fantasy land we know as Hollywood. On Friday, she arrived, by fishing boat to their newly designed Bermuda home on Isla de Mismo. From the dock the island seemed to be the same place that she’d left a year ago, with its white plantation style house and colorful row boats fronting the tropical beach.

Postel Amok had won the Nobel Prize in 1986 in Physiology for his work in genetic engineering and his most important project The Molecular Time-clock that would someday “reproduce animals of the past through the use of his own DNA.” Long ago, Maggie had heard her husband rambling on, over dinner, boasting to his  scientist friends, “My esteemed friends, I, Postel Amok, will be sliding down the evolutionary chain, into the past, in two-hundred-thousand-year increments.”

The freshwater pond behind the Amok house was fed by Postel’s solar power desalinization plant and was decorated with small islands of coconut trees and a large waterfall to keep the water properly aerated. Maggie watched a school of carp and large lungfish with red markings on their backs, swimming into the shallows. They’d disappeared in the murk before Maggie could get a closer look at them.

“Come, this way. Let me introduce you to our two very rare Anthracosaurus,” said the groundskeeper Zubu as he walked her along the shore and pointed to two large animals resembling black tree trunks. “They were believed to be an extinct genus of embolomere, from the Late Carboniferous period 310 million years ago.” The Coal Lizards, once found in the Brirish Isles were each over10-feet long —- They also had gapped teeth, like Zubu, like her husband, Postel. “The larger lizard on the left is Sal,” said Zubu,  “and his sweetheart is Amanda.” Amanda swung her head toward Maggie from the muddy bank and hissed a warning at the invasive female. Her mate, Sal the scaly brute, complimented Maggie on her legs with a chirp and a tongue swipe grooming  his pond scum coated head. Maggie felt the impulse to run but was then drawn in by the red Helix mark on the creature’s black back. Sal turned and grinned the same familiar gap-toothed grin that Maggie did not want to think about.

Though the two twelve-foot-long newts, Sal and Amanda, had lovely ragged  grins. They sized up Maggie as if she were a stick of Joe Blow chewing gum.

A frog, the size of a large man, lurched itself onto the muddy shore. It blinked at Maggie.

“That is Beelzebufo, miss,” said Zubu. “That is her genus.”

“Gee, what a cutie,” said Maggie.

“We call her Ribbit. Your husband’s friend Doctor Vegzet, said that he brought Beelzebufo ampinga here from Madagascar, while your husband was working with the atom collider in Switzerland. Ribbit and her family were thought to be extinct since the Cretaceous and still has smaller relatives in South America. She seems to like you, miss.”

Maggie stuck out her tongue at the blank-eyed beast, in fun.

Zubu screeched and leapt, straight up, ten feet onto a jakfruit tree, “No, ma’am! You musn’t tease her.”

The frog rolled out it’s tongue like a New Year’s Eve noisemaker. Maggie felt a little guarded in front of the savage Zubu, but that didn’t stop her from making a “ribbit” sound and a greeting, “Hello Ribbit!” The frog answered her ribbit, and then added a series of other “ribbits” looking at Maggie for understanding? Suddenly, its tongue shot out and grabbed a moth the size of a crow. Beelzebufo held it in its mouth long enough for Maggie to get a reeeeal good look at the moth’s wing. That looked like a,“No it can’t be!” It had the same helix mark as her husband, as the groundskeeper, as Sal and Amanda! The frog nudged its bug-eyed head as if inviting her to “Try one! They’re not so bad, tasty once you get past the hairy wings! Really. Tons of fiber, pumpkin.” Ribbit slurped it down.

Postel has done it! Maggie thought.

Books on Amazon by Fred Barnett (Bats and Shark Fin Soup coming soon!)

 #1,2,&3 are available in ebook and paperback on Amazon! Bats should be out in October 2014, Shark Fin Soup in 2015!

 Nantucket is a wee bit of smut available on Smashwords for 49 cents!

 Cover Bloody Good 2013 Cover : Second Chances Cover Rock Invasion Cover Shark Fin   Cover- Man From NantucketBATS

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