(Sketch by Anita Benson Bradley)

Carol Portnoy looked up from her History of Pirates book.

“ I just read this chapter about a 18th century pirate ship called the Black Widow and about its notorious woman captain, Anne Bonny. For decades, Captain Bonny was a successful pirate who disappeared into thin air, sometime in 1782.

Listen to this, my buccaneers. “Captain Bonny is a statuesque beauty with a treacherous temper to match her maelstrom of devilish red hair. At sea, she stands proudly upon the Black Widow’s prow, presenting a fine figurehead to the winds while scanning the horizon and commanding her vessel. Bonny often brags that she was raised by sirens after a shipwreck that killed her family and she can ‘sing with a siren’s song’ that sailors find ‘intoxicating.’

The lure of her song and the spark in her eyes have drawn many-a-lovelorn-suitor’s hearts into an abyss deeper than the Marianna Trench — Hearts never to be seen again.

Yet, Captain Anne’s finest gift may be her cooking!

At the slightest whim, and after the best pie they’d ever had, Anne Bonny may persuade a discarded lover to happily – jauntily, walk the plank —  directly into the bellies of the devoted sharks who follow The Black Widow’s legendary bill of fare — as it pursues spices ‘more precious than gold’ across the Carribean.

The sharks absolutely love sailors stuffed with pie. Especially the cherry and peach.”

Signed,

Killer Kelly

First mate and head chef