The next morning, Dauna had to return to Kupaio, to take care of the coffee business on her island and rendezvous with her new husband for the ‘obligatory’ honeymoon that would, in theory, bring peace to the Pacific. It was the idea of the ‘mating dance’ in the middle of the ocean that she dreaded. Six days later, they would swim toward their final honeymoon destination of Disneyland, in Anaheim, California.

To mate safely, the bride and groom needed to be far out at sea, alone. Alone with that dork? Dauna did not want to get ‘biblical’ with her louse-of-a-spouse.

It had been an arranged marriage and the still-young three-thousand-year-old shark goddess was agitated. She’d only agreed to the wedding only to preserve the future of her people and her beloved island of Kupaio. After thousands of years of war, it was her duty as the leader of her people to bind the families of the two nations together. Yeah, right, she thought. Why the &*&%^ did I fall for this *&#$@ked up fairytale &%^*?

Dauna’s idiot husband, Bunji, following her cute shark butt, was barely thinking. “Chomp, chomp, chomp,” he said to himself. (Translation: “Whoa! Hey. I’m gonna score!”)

Dauna wasn’t looking forward to spreading her fins for the golden-scaled doofus. Oh, what she was willing to do for her family and her caffeinated minions, the same idiots who swam and ran pointless endless laps around her island daily.

Dauna and Bunji were heading toward the chosen honeymoon spot for all gods and goddesses: Disneyland. The newlyweds headed toward the busy Port of Long Beach, just outside of San Pedro.

Dauna would have to get rilly detritus-faced drunk by munching on a few drunken sailors before the mating dance. That was when, from the warm Pacific Ocean outside of Catalina Island, she spotted the conveniently placed commercial fishing vessel, the Vinnie Maru. The best part (she could tell by the chatter aboard) was that the Vinnie Maru’s crew was staffed by enemies, the Hotat tribe of New Guinea.

And though Dauna could kill, but not nibble, on the Kuru infected Hotats aboard, she could partake of a few of the spicy drunk Caribbeans on board.

Hey! This could be fun.